On Things We Do for the Crusty Old People We Love

Don’t let the jokes fool you. This post is completely about service to the elderly.

My mom recently became disgustingly old and as such I was called upon to celebrate it. Mom is a really hard buy. She doesn’t like many things that aren’t either hockey or Steven King and I have bought her so many hockey pucks, and so many just god awful books that I couldn’t take it anymore. Every year, for birthdays and Christmas, I try really hard to find the one thing she will just pee herself over and I fail miserably every time. A few years back I got her a foot spa, for those times when she got home from work and needed a little massage. I got that same foot spa back about a year later, still in the box, with a reassuring, “Oh no, go ahead, use it please. I never use it.” Isn’t she just lovely?

My desire for the perfect gift led me to the hook and three balls of acrylic yarn. This is little man.

So named because he is little and he is a man. Isn’t Mom creative? He still needs a stick because my polymer clay dried out, but he’s cute and mean, and within minutes he was already starting trouble.

Note the happy look on Mom’s face as she snuggles her new friend. It was clear in that moment that I was her favorite daughter. Then things went horribly wrong.

I knew the little guy was a scrapper, but I had no idea he would have such audacity to beat up his new owner! Mom keeps him confined in the hockey room, but already he’s been put in the box for attacking Bluejackets bear. I may have to make him a permanent box if he doesn’t shape up and skate right!

Technical Stuff: He was made with worsted weight acrylic yarn. I’ll probably post the pattern later this month because he’s really just as simple as it gets. Oh, and his little helmet is detachable! Cuuuuute!

Well Mom, I hope you’re happy because I’ve just unleashed a bloodthirsty puck warrior in your honor. You’re Welcome. Congrats on being super old!

Holy crap it’s eighty out! Enjoy the weather!!

Note: No moms were injured in the making of this blog post.


About courtneykilledit

I am a twenty four year old mother of one in Columbus. I recently quit smoking and to keep the urge to shank a baby for a cigarette from becoming a reality I started crocheting obsessively. This blog is to keep my friends and family updated on my many, ridiculous projects.
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